


20 Questions

by lalagirl16



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Bad Jokes, Jeremy is awkward, M/M, Sexual Tension, a format that was cool at first and then personally broke into my house and stole my kneecaps, aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh, ahem anyway please ignore all of this and enjoy the fic, but anyway, but ehhhhh here, does anyone even read tags, ive literally been writing this on and off for 5 months, lots of bad jokes, rich is a tsundere, uhhhhh probably some inaccurate hospital stuff because i dont give a damn, who are these for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 01:57:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18378596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalagirl16/pseuds/lalagirl16
Summary: It only takes 20 questions to discover what something is, be it person, place, or thing. It only takes 20 questions to discover someone. To discover who they truly are. In just 20 questions, Rich and Jeremy discover each other.





	20 Questions

_ It only takes 20 questions to discover what something is, be it person, place, or thing. It only takes 20 questions to discover someone. To discover who they truly are. In just 20 questions, Rich and Jeremy discover each other.  _

 

1.

“Feels like you’re missing a part of yourself, doesn’t it?”

Jeremy cracked open his eyes, cringing at the harsh light of the hospital room.  _ That voice…  _ He looked over at the bed beside him and sure enough, there was Rich Goranski, covered in bandages. Jeremy stiffened at the sight of him. Was his luck really that bad? He’d survived the squipocolypse only to end up in a hospital room with the scariest kid in school. 

“Rich?” he croaked out, more to test his voice than to actually strike up a conversation. 

“Hurts like a motherfucker too,” Rich continued, laughing hollowly at the ceiling. “But it’s worth it to have that thing gone, don’t you think?” Jeremy didn’t say anything, deciding to best focus on counting the clouds on the faded wallpaper on the opposite wall. 

“Silent treatment, huh?” Rich said. He let out a little sigh. “That’s fair. All of this is my fault anyway. I was the one who told you about the damn thing. And if I wasn’t so awful to you, maybe you wouldn’t have even wanted one.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jeremy said after a few seconds. “I’m responsible for my decisions. And yeah, you were a dick, but you were far from my only problem.”

“Far from your only problem,” Rich repeated pensively. “I guess I’ll take it.” They fell into silence for a bit, and after a minute, Michael walked in and sat next to Jeremy, dramatically regaling what had happened after Jeremy had passed out. Michael took Jeremy’s hand in his own, the comforting contact making Jeremy feel just a bit more okay. Every so often, Jeremy would glance over at Rich, who was silent. His fingers were twitching, sort of cupping into a gentle shape that someone could easily hold. 

Jeremy forced himself to look away. It looked like Rich was missing more than a part of himself. He was missing his friends. Missing support. Missing love. Even after Michael left, Rich still didn’t speak up.

 

 

2.

“What are they saying about me at school?”

Rich had turned his head and was staring at Jeremy with an earnest, desperate look in his eyes. Jeremy cringed as he thought about all the rumors and gossip that had enveloped both the school and social media alike. 

“That bad, huh?”

“Sorry,” Jeremy mumbled out. 

“It’s okay. I deserve it, don’t I?” Rich turned away, eyes locking onto the ceiling again. “It’s probably great for you. You’ve probably always dreamed that your stupid bully would get what was coming to him.”

“No one deserves all that,” Jeremy said weakly.

“I do,” Rich said. “And I’m an arsonist, remember? I’m crazy. I belong in jail. All the shit they must be spreading around is probably true. And even if it isn’t, who am I to defend myself?” 

Jeremy shifted under the covers uncomfortably. Why did he care? Rich  _ was  _ crazy. And he’d done horrible things. So why did Jeremy feel so… sad?

 

 

3.

“Why did you beat me up?” Jeremy found himself asking. “I mean, I know your Squip told you to or whatever, but… I just…”

“I’m sorry,” Rich interrupted. “I am so  _ so  _ sorry for the way I treated you. Free will or not, I caused you a lot of pain. I don’t think I could apologize enough for that.”

“It’s… fine,” Jeremy said, tapping his fingers on his thigh. “I know your Squip was making you do it. But it’s just… why me?” Rich bit his lip but said nothing. “Am I really that terrible?” Jeremy asked, more to the world than to Rich.

“Because I used to be a lot like you,” Rich answered finally, pointedly avoiding Jeremy’s gaze. “And the Squip… wanted to show me what losers deserved.”

“I can’t really imagine  _ you  _ as a loser,” Jeremy said with a dry laugh. 

“You don’t have to imagine anymore,” Rich said. “I can’t keep up the charade anymore. It’s for the better, really. If I’m a loser, it means fewer eyes on me. If I really wanted, I could start wearing glasses again and stop gelling my hair, maybe they wouldn’t even recognize me.”

Jeremy smiled a bit as he tried to imagine Rich with glasses to compliment his messy hair. It would be...different. But far from a bad look. 

 

 

4.

“Do you still hear it?” 

Jeremy turned over in bed, blinking away his sleepiness. Rich had asked him that so quietly and meekly, he wasn’t sure he’d really heard him say it at all.

“The Squip?” Jeremy whispered back. He squinted to try to see Rich in the dimly lit room, but couldn’t see Rich’s expression no matter how hard he tried. Rich didn’t say anything. For a second, Jeremy wondered if he’d fallen back asleep. 

“Yeah,” the response finally came. Jeremy swallowed and clenched his covers tighter, closing his eyes and trying to relax.

“I don’t know,” he finally said, the words leaving as little more than a whisper. “I keep thinking I’m hearing it but…” He trailed off. “I never see it. And I could just be crazy.”

“Like me, huh?” Rich said. He seemed too sleepy for the words to have any bite to them.

“I never said that.”

 

 

5.

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

Jeremy looked over at Rich and raised an eyebrow incredulously.  _ He hasn’t said a word since this morning and that’s what he opens with. _

“School should be out, so shouldn’t he be in here bringing you flowers and shit?”

“Michael isn’t my boyfriend,” Jeremy said shortly. 

“Hmm. Could’ve fooled me,” Rich responded, smirking. “I’ll bet he comes in again and makes goo-goo eyes at you while you sleep.”

“Shut up!” Jeremy yelled before he can stop himself. In an instant, Rich paled and went silent. Jeremy averted his gaze, breathing heavily.  _ Holy shit, I just stood up to Rich. Oh my god. Oh my god.  _

“I-”

“We aren’t. Dating,” Jeremy said with as much authority as he could manage. “Even with your damn Squip out, you’re still gonna be an asshole?” Jeremy exhaled loudly and pointedly avoiding looking at the bed on his left. “Tell me the truth,” he continued. “Was it really making you say those things? Or are you really just a bully for the fun of it?”

“Are you kidding?” Rich said, his voice hoarse and breathy. “It tore me apart. Having to hurt you.” Jeremy bit his lip, thinking of the way the Squip would order him around like a puppet. “Not that that erases what I did,” Rich continued. “I swear I’m not homophobic and I don’t hate you. I just… I was trying to make a joke.”

“Yeah?” Jeremy bit back. He picked up his pillow and shaped it so his head was turned away and laid down with a huff. “It wasn’t funny.”

 

  
  
6.

“You awake?” Jeremy mumbled out after the nurse left the room. He’d be able to leave in the morning, apparently. It was a relief. He needed to get back and figure out how to salvage the broken pieces of his life. One more night with his strange roommate. 

“Yeah,” Rich said after a minute. “What is it?”

“I was… just wondering,” Jeremy said. “You haven’t said anything in a while. Thought you might be dead over there.”

“If only I was so lucky,” Rich mumbled. 

“I’m sorry about what I said,” Jeremy said. “You’re just as much a victim as I am, and I shouldn’t have accused you of…” Jeremy trailed off. 

“Don’t apologize to me, tall-ass,” Rich said. He turned his head and the two of them shared real eye contact for the first time since they’d both woken up. “I don’t need pity or forgiveness, and honestly, considering all I’ve done to you, I’m surprised you didn’t get out of that bed and cuss me out.”

“I wouldn’t!” Jeremy protested, leaning forward in bed. “You don’t deserve that! I mean, you had a Squip controlling you, but you were always a good person deep down!”

“Ha. Deep down...” Rich laughed humorlessly. “That’s such bullshit.”

“Huh?’”

“This is real life, Jeremy. Not a book. Not a comic. I didn’t get turned to the ‘dark side’. I wasn’t hypnotised.” Rich strained against his bandages but was too limited to really turn towards Jeremy. Still, he radiated intensity. “Every decision I made from the moment I bought that thing was for my own benefit. Every time I listened to it, I made a choice--that what I wanted...popularity...sex...whatever… was more important than my own morals.”

“What are you saying?” Jeremy breathed out shakily.  _ Does that mean that’s what I was doing too?  _

“I’m saying that I’ve never been a good person. The Squip may have brought out the worst in me, but that person… that monster… was still me. It always was.”

Jeremy swallowed, listening to the sounds outside the door of the roaming nurses and doctors and trying to think of something, anything to say to reassure Rich. 

“Can you turn on the TV or something?” Rich asked. He was looking at the wall again, his face blank.

“It’s broken,” Jeremy said. 

 

  
7.

“Why’d you set the fire?”

Maybe it was a stupid question to ask. But he had to know. It was the one thing that still didn’t make sense… the one thing that was keeping Jeremy from being fully convinced Rich needed a friend (rather than incarceration, as several people on Twitter were suggesting.)

“Because I’m crazy,” Rich said pointedly. “Absolutely cookoo-bananas. Next question.”

“W-w-wait!” Jeremy stammered. “You’re joking, right?”

“I  _ said  _ next question,” Rich said. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“I-I don’t think you’re crazy!” Jeremy said. “I just can’t figure out why you’d do that.”

“Because I’m a bad person.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Rich scoffed and blew a tuft of hair out of his face.

“You’re really stubborn when you want to be, aren’t you, tall-ass? Is that supposed to be endearing? It’s not doing much for me.”

“I-I-what?” Jeremy stammered. “D-Don’t change the subject!”

“That your plan? To annoy me into telling you?”

“Is yours to be a dick until I leave you alone?” Jeremy countered. Rich turned away and Jeremy was sure he wasn’t going to say anything else.

“It was going to make me give squips to everyone at the play,” Rich said, so quietly Jeremy could barely hear. “I couldn’t get it out so… I was going to take it down with me.” 

Jeremy felt all the air leave his lungs as his eyes grew wide and a pit opened in his stomach.  _ He… he was trying to… _

“O-oh,” was all he could manage. 

“I think you should get some rest,” Rich said after a minute. “If it were me leaving, I’d want outta this shithole as early as possible.”

  
  
  


8.

“What are you doing here?”

Jeremy gripped the straps of his backpack tighter as he made his way across the room to the small chair provided for visitors. 

“H-hey. Hey, Rich. Um. I came to see you.”

“Clearly…” Rich said, looking Jeremy from head to toe. Jeremy stiffened under his gaze.

“I’m sorry… this is weird.”

“Yeah. Little bit. Can you leave?”

“My dad can’t pick me up for two hours,” Jeremy said, twiddling his thumbs nervously. “B-but if you want, we don’t have to talk!”

“It’s weirder if we don’t talk,” Rich deadpanned. 

“Okay…” Jeremy said. He carefully sat down and folded his hands in his lap, feeling sweat begin to gather on his forehead.

“Seriously,” Rich said, his lisp prominent. “Why are you here?” 

“I didn’t want you to be alone,” Jeremy said, biting his lip. “I mean, you’re sure to get bored at least.”

“The TV’s fixed,” Rich said. “I’m fine. Can you please just go?”

“Do you really want me to?” Jeremy asked softly. Rich didn’t meet his gaze but shook his head. “Then why can’t I just stay?”

“Because I don’t deserve to have someone like you as a friend,” Rich said, eyes fixed on the bedspread. “Because I know that’ll you’ll listen to me and understand what I say and care because that’s the kind of person you are. You shouldn’t be wasting your time on me.”

“Well, it beats pretending to care about sports with the popular kids…” Jeremy said. Rich chuckled and finally cracked a smile. 

“Careful now, tall-ass,” Rich said. “I have the remote. Say something I don’t like while you’re here and maybe I’ll just turn on ESPN.”

 

  
9.

“Did things work out with Christine?” Rich asked. Jeremy cringed slightly as he recalled their awkward conversation. He should have known better than to ask her out after everything, but at least she’d been kind about letting him down. 

“Not really,” Jeremy sighed. “I asked her out, but she turned me down. Which I totally get. I mean, I almost destroyed the school, and I’m...well...me.”

“That sucks,” Rich said, frowning. “Are you guys cool though?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy said. “She was nice about it and still wants to be friends. And I’m sure as hell not going to pressure her anymore.” He sighed and stuffed his hands in his sweater pockets. “Who knows. Maybe it’ll be nice… having more than one friend.”

“ _ Two  _ friends?” Rich mocked with a grin. “Slow down there, tiger.”

“More than two, actually…” Jeremy said. “It was really weird but… Brooke, Chloe, and Jake were just sitting with Christine and Michael. And Jenna Rolan too. And they invited me to sit with them.”

“So?” Rich said with a shrug.

“So, they’re popular kids!” Jeremy practically screeched. “I don’t have the Squip anymore but they still want to be my friends and...oh. Oh my god. Rich, I can’t do this.”

“Why not?” Rich said. 

“Because I’m not cool,” Jeremy stated. “Obviously. I can’t be friends with them! I’m a nerd! How am I supposed to fit in without the Squip’s help?”

“Don’t fit in,” Rich said. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Never was.”

“I...I don’t know about  _ that _ ...”

“Don’t overthink it,” Rich said, cutting him off. “Nerd looks good on you.”

 

 

10.

“Can’t you do your homework at home?” Rich said. Jeremy looked up from his textbook and blinked at Rich owlishly. Neither of them had said anything in a while, so he didn’t think Rich would mind at all.

“I guess…” Jeremy said. “I have a lot to catch up on, though. So you’re just gonna have to live with it.” Rich coughed out a word that sounded suspiciously like “nerd”. Jeremy rolled his eyes. “I’m at peace with being a nerd,” Jeremy said.

“Power to you,” Rich said. “I’m not quite there yet. Freshman year, I was a bigger loser than you are, and definitely more of a nerd.”

“Wanna bet?” Jeremy teased. “I think my video game collection would beg to differ.”

“I used to write  _ poetry _ ,” Rich said pointedly. 

“Woah, really?” Jeremy asked. “Yeah, I guess you’re right… that’s really nerdy. But it’s kind of cool too.”

“It’s not cool,” Rich scoffed. “Otherwise, the Squip wouldn’t have given me so much shit about it.”

“Whatever…” Jeremy said with a shrug. “But Michael made a good point at lunch today. He said that maybe part of the reason Squips...and this is a direct quote ‘suck more than white boys with dreads’, is because they were trying to like...quantify what’s cool. When in reality, being cool is all subjective, and...another quote here…’as overrated as converse’.”

“Huh. So, does that mean converse are cool? Or…”

“Who fucking knows?”

  
  


11.

“So...can I read some of your poems?”

Rich just gawked at Jeremy in response, shaking his head slightly as if the very notion was ridiculous. Jeremy cleared his throat awkwardly. “Is that a no?”

“Tall-ass, I’d sooner show you my dick than one of my poems. They’re  _ private _ .”

“And your dick isn’t?”

“Of course it is!” Rich’s face began to grow red in anger. Or perhaps, embarrassment? “My poems are private  _ and  _ my dick is private, that’s the point of the joke!”

“Your reputation with the girls in our grade would indicate otherwise,” Jeremy said with a cocky grin. Rich choked out a noise of protest. Jeremy sort of wished Michael was there to high-five him for that. Channeling some of his best friend’s bravery, Jeremy added, “If this is your way of flirting with me, it’s a weird way to do it.”

“Fucking hell…” Rich said, turning away. “Call the nurse for me and have her put me under.”

 

  
  
12.

“Do you hate me?” The question just sort of slipped out before Jeremy could think better of it. That question had been itching at the back of his mind ever since he’d asked Rich why he’d been his favorite target. Rich had said it was just because he was a loser… but that couldn’t be the only reason. Could it?

“Hate you?” Rich repeated. “I could never hate you. Shouldn’t I be asking  _ you _ that question?”

“It’s just…” Jeremy sighed, running his hands through his hair. Even though he was staring at the floor, he could feel Rich’s eyes on him. “You said it was because I was just a loser. Or that I was too like your old self or something. I guess...I was just wondering if that’s really the truth.” 

“O-of course it’s the truth!” Rich stammered out. Jeremy looked up and registered panic in Rich’s eyes. He really was an open book without the Squip. His lisp also seemed to get worse when he spoke carelessly like that. Jeremy swallowed. So he had been right after all…

“You can just say it,” Jeremy said softly. “I did something wrong or I was just the worst loser you came across and you didn’t care to hurt anyone else because you just hate me.”

“It’s not like that!” Rich insisted. Jeremy glanced up. Rich’s face was still flushed, and he seemed to be straining against his bandages to lean forward as much as possible. 

“Then why?” Jeremy said weakly.

“I…” Rich started. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, closing his eyes briefly before answering. “I was… drawn to you. Freshman year.”

_ Drawn to me? _

“No, that’s not the right word,” Rich mumbled. “I...I don’t know what it was. But I would see you sometimes. In the halls. And I wanted to get to know you...I just sort of fixated on you for whatever reason.” Rich paused to grimace a bit. “God, that sounds creepy… I just mean that I noticed you, for whatever reason. And that year… before I got the Squip… I would come to school to see if one day, I could work up the courage to talk to you.”

That, to say the least, was not what Jeremy was expecting to hear.

“I wish you would have,” Jeremy said quietly, forming his hands into gentle fists to clutch the fabric of his cardigan. “Then maybe… things wouldn’t have turned out this way.”

Rich just nodded and didn’t say another word until Jeremy left for the day. 

  
  


13.

“Are you going to be okay?”

Jeremy hadn’t even sat down yet. He was standing in the doorway of Rich’s room, but even from a distance, he could see the despair laying beneath the surface of Rich’s eyes. 

“Hey, Jeremy,” Rich said, sounding defeated. “Didn’t expect you to come back.” Jeremy fidgeted a bit with the bottom of his t-shirt before giving up on finding a good time to invite himself all the way in. He awkwardly shuffled over the chair and took a seat, scooting it a bit closer to Rich, all the while praying he wasn’t overstepping his boundaries. 

“You don’t look so good,” Jeremy said. “I just want to know if you’re going to be okay. When are they letting you out of here, anyway?” Rich seemed to relax a bit. Jeremy realized that he should have clarified that his question was simply of the medical nature and not a demand for Rich to dig deep into his psyche. That was a job that a therapist would surely need to handle. 

“They’re letting me out of my bandage prison today,” Rich said conversationally. “And I guess we’ll get to assess the damage. I know I have burns...I can feel them...I just want to know where I’m gonna fall on the scale of Zuko from the M. Night Shamalyan movie to Two-Face.”

“Oh…” Jeremy said. “Do you want to me to go, then? I drove myself today.”

“No, that’s fine,” Rich reassured him. “I glad you’re here.”

 

 

14.

“Do they look bad?”

Rich had finally returned after being led away by some nurses and Jeremy, despite his best efforts, couldn’t stop staring at Rich’s arms, which had striking red burns on them, though there were definitely more on the right. They were on his face and neck too, and from the looks of it, likely ran down the whole right side of his torso. Jeremy began to feel sick as he thought about what that must have felt like.

“No, they don’t look bad,” Jeremy said. Rich scoffed. So, he didn’t believe him. “They just look...different,” Jeremy explained. “Not bad. If you wanted, you could think of them as being kinda badass, y’know?”

“They’re not,” Rich snapped. “They’re horrible. That’s the truth so why don’t you just say it so I know I’m not in my own head?”

“B-but Rich…” Jeremy tried.

“I’m gonna have these scars for the rest of my life,” Rich said quietly, running his fingers over the harsh red skin. “Reminding me of what a fuck-up I am. That I hurt my best friend and ruined my reputation in one asinine decision.”

“I’m sorry…” Jeremy whispered to the floor, not knowing what else to say. “I’m so sorry…” Rich made a noise that sounded like a choked-out sob. Jeremy looked up from his knees and saw Rich crying silently, tears rolling down his cheeks as he hugged himself. 

“I shouldn’t have even asked you that…” Rich laughed through the tears. “God, I’m such a fucking idiot. And hey, now I get to remember every day that I couldn’t even off myself right!” Rich stopped holding back his tears and began to sob for real, and something inside Jeremy shattered. He leaped from his seat and knelt down next to Rich’s bed, grabbing his hand.  

“I just want to feel like I’m going to be okay…” Rich said shakily, letting his fingers intertwine carefully with Jeremy’s. “But...no way that’ll happen. Not to me.” 

“Why do you think that?” Jeremy asked quietly, beginning to run a gentle finger along the back of Rich’s hand, trying to calm him down.

“Because I deserve whatever shitty life is waiting for me outside this room,” Rich said. “I-I’m a criminal…”

“But you were trying to save everyone,” Jeremy protested. “You were trying to stop the Squips from spreading… and it would have worked if I hadn’t messed things up. And if it weren’t for Michael, I would have kept making selfish decisions for who knows how long.” Rich wiped his eyes with his free hand and shivered. “So, if you don’t deserve to be okay...then I don’t either.”

“That’s not true…” Rich said. “You deserve to be happy. More than anyone.”

“Th-thanks,” Jeremy said, withdrawing his hand after he felt it getting sweaty. “But you do too.” Rich was silent, but it looked like he was done crying. “And...for what it’s worth… Prince Zuko was a snack and you know it.”

Rich just shook his head and continued walking his fingers up and down his arms. But he was finally beginning to smile again.

  
  


15.

“Have you ever kissed a boy?”

Jeremy looked up from his math homework, eyes wide. He was sure that they were done talking for the day. He had contented himself with just keeping Rich company and not having anymore crying sessions or strange questions.  _ Apparently not. _

“What?”

“I was just wondering, is all,” Rich said, putting up his hands defensively. “I saw that pin on your backpack. It’s the bi flag, right?” Jeremy nodded to confirm, not sure where the conversation was going. “I just wanted to know if you’ve ever kissed a dude. I know you’ve kissed Brooke so-”

“I-I don’t need to have kissed a dude to know I’m bi!” Jeremy protested shakily. 

“Oh no no, I wasn’t trying to say  _ that _ ,” Rich said, cringing guiltily. “I really was just asking, I swear.”

“I’ve only ever kissed Brooke, actually…” Jeremy said, wringing his hands. “And that was with the Squip doing all the work for me. I’ve never really gotten to that point with anyone on my own. I’m not exactly datable.” 

“I don’t believe that,” Rich said, shaking his head. “You’re definitely cute, in the delicate twink sort-of way, you’re sweet and empathetic, and you’re passionate. Admit it: you’re a catch.”

“W-w-well...I…” Jeremy’s mind was tangled and frantically trying to piece everything together. Had Rich really just said all that? “Th-thank you…” Jeremy said when he finally got his bearings.

“Hm?” Rich said, looking a bit confused.

“For saying all that, I guess,” Jeremy said, tugging on his sweater sleeves self-consciously. “I mean, I know you were just messing around but… I’ve never really liked myself before. And hearing any sort of compliments… I don’t know. It was nice.”

“Come on, tall-ass,” Rich said. “I’m sure you get plenty from Mell.”

“Well, yeah,” Jeremy said. “But that’s different. He’s gonna tell me I’m cool no matter what.”

“Because you’re his best friend?”

“That and he has no taste.”

“Ouch,” Rich laughed. Jeremy smiled and settled a bit into his chair. The more time he spent in here...with him… the more comfortable he felt. It was all so new and strange to him.

“I actually asked because I’m pretty sure _ I’m _ bisexual,” Rich said after a minute. Jeremy’s jaw dropped. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, pretty sure. I just wanted to compare notes, I guess. I mean, if I’m questioning, it’s pretty safe to say I’m not straight, but after all that time with the Squip telling me off for thinking about...you know...guys...I don’t know. I think I just want to be sure.”

“I understand that,” Jeremy commented, not really knowing what else to say. Rich sighed in the bed next to him, his eyes boring right into Jeremy’s with a unique vulnerability. “Say, Rich…” Jeremy said, trying to ignore the tightening knot in his stomach. “Y’know...I could...if you want…” Rich’s eyes grew wide, but he just nodded slowly, giving his consent. 

_ Shit, am I really going to do this? _

Jeremy stood up and walked over to Rich’s hospital bed, kneeling down next to him after a second. Heart pounding in his ears, Jeremy cupped Rich’s cheek gently, his thumb tracing the rough texture of the burn on the right side of his face. 

“S-sorry,” Jeremy said. “I’m just sort of nerv-”

Rich closed the distance and Jeremy’s eyes flickered shut.

 

 

16.

“Do you wanna talk about… that?”

“...no.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No...it’s fine. We shouldn’t… it would be a bad idea.”

“...yeah.”

“Um… get well soon.”

“See you at school, Jeremy.”

 

 

17.

“Can I sit with you?” Jeremy asked hurriedly. His hands were shaking so much that he was sure he was going to drop the tray in his hands. Rich looked up from whatever book he was reading and squinted at him.

“Why?”

“Uh...why what?” Jeremy asked, shifting a bit on the balls of his feet nervously. 

“Why would you want to sit with me?” Rich asked. Then he pointed across the cafeteria. “Your friends are over there. You have six of them, remember? I enjoyed your pity visits, but you don’t owe me anything.”

“Sorry…” Jeremy said, turning on his heels to walk away.  _ Wait, did he say pity?  _ “Wait,” he backtracked, turning back around. “I’m not sorry.” Rich blinked at him, confused.

“I mean, you do you, I guess,” he said.

“Gah, no!” Jeremy said. “Ugh...I’m trying to say...I’m sitting here because you’re my friend too. It’s not pity or anything like that.” Jeremy sat down at the table and gave Rich a defiant look. “So, I’m sitting here,” he asserted. “Um...yeah.”

“If you insist…” Rich conceded, turning back to his book. “But I mean it. Don’t you have anything better to do?” Jeremy just shook his head and began eating. When he noticed Rich peaking at him from behind the book every so often, hardly turning pages, he didn’t comment.

 

 

18.

“Why won't you just talk to them?” It was the fourth consecutive lunch period that Jeremy had spent in Rich’s company, ignoring texts from his new friend group asking what the hell he was doing. He never knew what to say to them. He couldn’t convince them to give Rich another chance all by himself. And to top it off, Rich would have to be willing to reintegrate into the group. But save for a few unreadable stares at the “popular” lunch table, Rich never expressed interest in talking to any of his old friends.

“To who?” Rich scoffed, trying to play dumb. His eyes flickered down the pages of his book again, but Jeremy could tell he wasn’t reading.

“To Brooke, Chloe, and Jake,” Jeremy said. “Obviously.” Rich barked out a laugh and still didn’t look up from where his eyes were fixed on the pages. “Why not?” Jeremy asked.

“You didn’t really just ask me that, did you?” Rich asked. “I could rattle off 100 reasons why that’s a terrible idea.”

“But I think they miss you!” Jeremy insisted. “Especially Jake. I’ve hardly seen him smile now that you’re not by his side.”

“Maybe he’s not smiling because his house burned down and he’s got two broken legs,” Rich snapped. 

“Please, Rich…” Jeremy said. Rich broke eye contact with the spot of the text he’d been staring at and looked at Jeremy. “I really want you to be okay…” he continued. “But you can’t do that if you don’t even try to rebuild your life… right?” Rich sighed and closed his book, running his hands through his fluffy hair. Jeremy’s breath caught for just a second. 

“You never struck me as a ‘tough love’ type,” Rich said. 

“I-I’m not,” Jeremy stammered.  _ What’s that supposed to mean? _

“I guess I must really need it then,” Rich said. He carefully stood up, gesturing with his finger for Jeremy to do the same. Jeremy stumbled to his feet and hurried to keep up with Rich, who was walking across the lunchroom with a blank expression on his face. As they approached the familiar table, Jeremy saw Michael, Jenna, and Chloe notice Rich, their reactions varying degrees of surprise. 

Upon arriving, Rich stood at the end of the table, everyone’s eyes finally on him. Jake’s mouth was hanging open in shock, but Jeremy could see a bit of light in his expression that had been missing previously. 

“Um. Hi?” Rich said, his earlier swagger all but disappearing when faced with so many people he’d let down. He turned his head and looked back at Jeremy as if asking for help.

“R-rich is gonna sit with us!” Jeremy declared shakily. “And he’s nice now!” Jake was the first to speak.

“He’s always been nice,” he said, mouth tugging up into a half-smile as he looked at his best friend.

“No, I haven’t…” Rich said, finally sitting down. Jeremy quietly did the same, watching Rich’s expression intently to gauge his discomfort in a situation he was sure Rich wasn’t ready for until two minutes ago. “I think I owe you all… a lot of explanations.”

Rich talked for a while. When he got to the part about the fire, he started visibly shaking, so Jeremy reached a hand over as subtly as he could and rested it on Rich’s thigh. Rich jolted for a moment, stumbling over his words, but quickly recovered as he grabbed Jeremy’s hand with his own and held it under the table and the lunch period was over. 

 

 

19.

“Do you wanna go… eat some food?” Jeremy stammered out in one breath. Rich closed his locker and raised an eyebrow at Jeremy. 

“Not really,” Rich said. “Lunch was two hours ago and I have a fuckton of homework to catch up on.” Jeremy felt his heart deflate. He should have expected as much.

“Okay,” Jeremy said. “Um. Sorry. I hope things aren’t...weird. I know we agreed it was a bad idea but I started to hope that you felt the same way...I’m sorry. I’ll leave now.” Jeremy choked down some rising tears and started to walk away when he felt Rich grab his hand to stop him.

“Wait,” Rich said, realization dawning on his face. “Were you… asking me out?” 

“I’m sorry!” Jeremy said miserably. “I feel plenty stupid about it, believe me.”

“Yes.”

“...what?”

“My answer’s yes,” Rich said. “I want to go out with you. I just didn’t understand what you were asking but… I would love to go on a date with you, Jeremy.”

“Y-you would?” Jeremy asked, thoroughly shocked. “But...but I thought-”

“For the love of…” Rich mumbled. “I kissed you in the hospital. I made jokes about showing you my dick. I basically admitted to having a crush on you freshman year!” Rich shook his head, his short rant coming to a close with a small laugh. “What of any of that screams ‘no interest here’?” 

“When we kissed you said you didn’t want to talk about it…” Jeremy said. “And when I said it was a bad idea… us being together… you agreed.”

“Because you deserve better,” Rich pointed out. “And in the hospital… it didn’t feel real. It was like a little bubble where the outside world was separate… a place that was safe but so fragile. I didn’t want to do anything drastic before I knew you might still feel the same way when we were both dumped back into real life again.”

“Oh…” Jeremy said. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Eh, who knows,” Rich said. He reached forward and gently grabbed Jeremy by the waist pulling him in closer. “We sure don’t make sense together. But… I kinda wanna try it out anyway.”

“Me too.”

 

 

20.

“Is this okay?”

Jeremy nodded furiously as Rich reached for the bottom hem of Jeremy’s shirt and lifted it, somewhat awkwardly, over his head. Then Rich resumed what he’d been doing, using his hands to caress Jeremy’s shoulders and trace the freckles along his arms. Their mouths found each other once again, their lips tangoing together as they both reached and touched, charting new territory. 

Rich pulled away after a second and just stared at Jeremy, eyes bright and face broken into a full-on grin. 

“What?” Jeremy giggled.

“Nothing,” Rich said. “I just… like looking at you is all.”

“That’s stupid,” Jeremy said through a laugh. “You need higher standards.”

“I have very high standards,” Rich countered. “You meet all of them, cute-ass.” He leaned forward to kiss Jeremy, right on a sensitive spot of his neck. Jeremy let out a squeak of surprise, causing Rich to chuckle and  _ god  _ did Rich’s laugh do things to him. 

“H-hey, Rich…” Jeremy stammered out. Rich pulled away carefully, and he looked like he was entirely entranced by Jeremy’s words.

“Yeah?”

“Um…” Jeremy said. His mind was too full of every sort of sensation… warm delicate touches… everywhere… a tenderness that matched the way Rich’s smile could turn his heart to sweet honey. “I was just wondering…” Rich cocked his head in confusion. “Does this mean I’ll get to read some of your poems soon?” Jeremy asked, feeling a blush overtake his face and neck. Rich shook his head in disbelief, eyes now lit up with a spark of mischief. 

“I’m sure that can be arranged.”

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know what this is whooohooo
> 
> im gonna write half the rich/jeremy tag and no ones gonna fucking stop me
> 
>  
> 
> comment if you want! nice comments always make my day <3


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